This is a story of how I found love again after giving up. It seemed impossible to find a decent, godly man and I was scared to try again. After marrying two alcoholics, my track record was not good.
I did date some really great guys for long periods, but ultimately, I knew they were not the one God had for me.
So, I gave up. I gave up looking online and at various get-togethers. I was done.
But guess what? I did ultimately find lasting love with a godly man.
Have you giving up on finding love again? Are you scared to start dating? Have you tried online dating and not found what you are looking for? Have the men turned out to be at best, just not a good match, and, at worst, just schmucks?
Yep, been there. As have many of my girlfriends.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Working harder at finding someone was not the answer.
Want to know what the secret was?
Letting go. Letting go and turning the “finding” process over to God.
I said to Him, “God, obviously I have not done a very good job in choosing men. Alcoholism, emotional abuse, lack of a spiritual connection, lack of commitment, just not the “right” One. They have not turned out to be who You wanted me to spend my life with. So I am turning this over to you.”
That was it. Now, mind you, I continued to pray that He would bring the “right” man to me. I let my friends know that I was looking for a nice, godly man. I thought about the kind of man I really wanted to spend my life with.
I kept myself busy. I worked, started volunteering and spent a lot of time shoring up my spiritual life – reading scripture and attending church faithfully. Getting to know Him. Lots of reflection on my poor choices, but also recognizing God’s mercy and forgiveness.
I worked on loving and taking care of me, in body, mind and spirit.
He had brought me through all of the difficult circumstances and I trusted that He knew the future plans He had for me, even if I didn’t know them.
I know this scripture verse is often quoted, but it really is true:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:10
As it turned out, I met my husband through one of the male friends that I had met through volunteering. It wasn’t a set up, it just happened.
Of course, nothing happens by accident. God knew the whole plan all along.
The key was giving up. Turning it all over to God for Him to work. This doesn’t mean stopping working on yourself. It all goes together.
So, my recommendation is this: try giving up, giving it over to God, taking care of yourself, working on yourself, and spending time with Him.
You can find love again. Loving yourself and someone else. By giving up and giving it to Him.
I would love to hear from you – have you given up? Are you moving forward or are you stuck? Leave a comment below.
If you have found yourself in that stuck or discouraged place about finding love again and would like to chat, let’s have a discovery call. Send me an email at jane@janespringer.com. I’d love to talk with you!
Many blessings,
Jane
Jane Springer is a certified Life, Wellness and Style Coach who assists women in taking care of themselves, in body, mind and spirit. She coaches women who want to lose weight, avoid diabetes, and feel great. She also helps them thrive after divorce. She also helps them to clear their closets of old clothes and outdated attitudes, so they can shine and feel confident.