What Baggage Are You Carrying?

What baggage are you carrying into a new relationship?

We all have baggage.  Experiences that happened to us in the past that affect future relationships.  Unless we do some work on clearing out the old thoughts, memories, and feelings, your future relationships can flounder.  Or not even get off the ground.

Let’s say you were in a marriage or relationship where the person had a habit of putting you down, maybe being critical of your body.  You may have memories of one of your parents even doing that.  What happens?

Unless you work through those old memories to clear them and heal from them, your brain is going to recognize those put downs in a new relationship.  Or even expect them or attract them.

Here is an example from my own life.  I remember my mother saying to a friend or store clerk when I was about 5 or 6 that I “pleasingly plump.”  Fast forward to college.  My then boyfriend told me I shouldn’t wear hot pants, because they didn’t look good in them. (Read: your legs are too fat.)  Fast forward to ex-husband #2.  He made a comment about my breasts being too small, in a very unsubtle way.

Since then I have worked very hard to love, appreciate and take care of my body.  My husband tells me all the time what a great body I have.  I attracted someone who appreciates me just as I am.

Here is another example.  Let’s say your parents got divorced when you where a child.  Dad left.  You were a Daddy’s girl.  All of a sudden he starts to date someone and you don’t really understand why you aren’t spending much time with him, because she is always around.  You start to look for someone else to fill the void.  Boyfriends and eventually husbands who aren’t really available…..but temporarily they give you the attention you crave.

By the way, that’s another true story from my past.  I spent a lot of time over the years in counseling and getting spiritual healing to finally be healthy enough to attract and accept a committed, healthy relationship.  Thankfully, my husband and I have been happily married for 15 years.

See what I mean?  You can carry old baggage into the new relationships.  Which will definitely affect how it all works out.

So what can you do to dump this old baggage and attract a healthy and loving relationship?

Of course, therapy and counseling are always an option.  You need to do the work on YOU.  But there is an alternative.  I have walked this road many times and now work with single women who would like to attract the right partner into their lives.  As a coach, we work on how to clear out those old thoughts and feelings and also look ahead to what kind of partner they really want and deserve in their lives.

If you are ready to ditch the old baggage and move forward in your life with confidence and strength to find love,  I’m here for you.  Shoot me an email at jane@janespringer.com and let’s talk about dumping that old baggage, ok?

Talk to you soon!

Much love,

Jane