“Your grandson had a bad day.” When this is the first thing you hear when your daughter calls you, your heart sinks, not knowing what will come next. And you know there is nothing you can really do to change the situation. She goes on, “They had to call the vice-principal because he had a meltdown in the library.” I hear the emotion trembling in her voice.
Your heart goes out to your beloved daughter who is trying so hard to work with him, nurture him and get him the extra help he needs. Bureaucracy moves very slowly and she has been trying to get additional resources that will assist with his recent behavior changes.
I have been concerned myself, since he doesn’t interact with me at lunchtime at school when I visit and won’t eat his lunch. I trot back and forth in the lunchroom sitting with his twin a bit and then back to him. He doesn’t want me to sit next to him anymore. My husband had to take him out of church last Sunday, because of his outbursts. They had outdoor church together which turned out to just fine, but we are concerned.
Yet what can we really do besides have the twins over for the weekend and give my daughter and her husband a break? As grandparents, our best is to give support when we can, help with transportation and other activities, work with him ourselves to find ways of communicating better, and just love him (and the family) through it.
I take special care just to listen, to be there when my daughter needs me, give encouragement and occasionally offer suggestions. It helps that she has a person she can vent to and I love being that person. At these moments, I just want to hug her and tell her, “things will get better.” And I am sure they will. He goes through phases.
Maybe, just maybe, we as parents and grandparents can help turn his “bad days” into “better days” and from “better days” into “good days” by just being there for him. He is still our sweet boy and we love him unconditionally. Regardless of what kind of day he had…..
Jane Springer is a certified Life, Wellness and Style Coach who assists women in taking care of themselves, in body, mind and spirit. She coaches women who want to lose weight, avoid diabetes, and feel great. She also helps them thrive after divorce. She also helps them to clear their closets of old clothes and outdated attitudes, so they can shine and feel confident.